thurs is here... tmr is fri!! most importantly... tmr got matches... feels something not realli right when theres no soccer... feels weird... haha... tmr will be a busy dae... parade in the morning... evening need to some work... supposed to went jogging with my fren in the afternoon... in the end... we dozed off... haha... anywae made it up with my 100 push ups again... keke... got the letter from nus le... gonna try to go ask the chief clerk tmr to see whether i can disrupt to go nus this yr... tmr is a crucial dae for me... new lease of life coming? hope so... life is so boring these days... sick n tired of army... frens here n there are envy n saying ord soon ar... happy right... but i don seemed too... cos the remaining 1 working month seems to be veri long... so close yet so far...

driving is sian todae... made plenty of mistakes... haiz... so frustrated with myself... perhaps too tired to drive after a long dae at work... maybe... no form todae... tired... going to rest early tonight... cos no football!! haa

todae quite a busy dae for me... went over all the way to SAFTI at jurong in the afternoon to pick up some stuff from the RSM... such a long...no... super long journey... took an hour plus to get there by 5-tonner... haha... sit till my ass pain... not bad overall... can go out and see see the world n also talk cock with my driver fren.. haha... my ex-sec sch mate to be exact... haha... well... their RSM also a commando... commandos are all over the place... sian... need to sew on new stuff to my uniform... new name tag... singapore tag... n unit tag where big boss will present us on fri through a mini parade... have to sew on the right shoulder tag... the tag looks veri chio also... its our commando logo tag... put it on got the killer instinct sia... haha... but a bit shy to wear it ard in future...

now have to repack my bag... things keep dropping off from my bag while walking... shag... todae beret dropped in the middle of road while crossing... luckily got a fren picked it up n return to me... damn pissed off todae... no bus to transport us out to the mrt station... damn pissed... in the end have to walk out... lucky got a nice officer pick us up halfwae n send us out... well... think of it... time realli flies... theres a packet of love seeds... xiang si tou in my bag... don no how mani but its alot... picked it up 6 months ago with a purpose... but the purpose became a nothing... nw its still in my bag... don no wat to do with it actually... i been bringing it along in my bag day in day out for 6 months... thats fast... i suppose... can still remember wilfred and me braved through the forest opp my home.... walk don no how mani km to look for the special tree... luckily we found it... fought with mosquitos too... it shall remain in my bag until it got a purpose ba... at least theres something special in my bag where i can carry it with my everydae? haha... i think i sounds a bit crazy n mad...

jus got home from duty.... feeling unwell again... made possible by the unlicensed bus ride home... think the driver is a stupid idiot dumb ass... accelerate... brake... accelerate... brake... in jerky manner... nearly broke my neck...

yesterdae duty was cool... after eating dinner n taking over duty... heard sirens from afar.. initially thought theres something interesting going on at the outside world... but the sirens keep drewing near n gets louder as time passes... and guess wat??!?! ya... 2 fire engines n a police car entered the camp premises and parked right in front of the gate... WE R THE SPECIAL one, instead... in the end... the fire alarm tripped and its a fault cum false alarm... haha... n this came the big fuss... they insist on entering to check things out n the police officers wants to find out wats going on in there also... and its a big scene... haha..

going off to bathe... take dinner... n rest...

todae feeling a bit better....slightly.....fever almost gone... but head getting more giddy... heavier cough... still feeling thirsty also... have to drink tons of water... todae resting at home... tmr still got duty... hope to recover as much as possible..

sian... todae finally submit to my sickness... fever 38.3 degress... head feel as heavy as a ton of concrete... a bad sore throat as if there is a tennis ball in my throat... cough like having TB... wat else... tonight fren coming back from australia... chances of picking her up is zero... don wan to pass this disease to all of them.. my frens in the army had already got a taste of my swift deadly disease... gonna rest of the rest of the dae... nw theres realli a shortage of manpower... people doing guard will be doing on sun... then nobody is gonna replace me as they are already closely packed up together... sianz... army realli sucks... hope to disrupt n go nus.. the sonner the better...

freaking sian todae... last night out out the blue got flu... last night all the way cant slp... keep having fluid flowing from my pathetic nose... todae suffering in camp.... taken medication also no use... headache... sore throat... flu.. giddy... super miserable... realli different from last night where i went for a run... after running become like tat... if i knw i don run at all le...

got another bombshell when i got home... kaoz... got rejected by smu... nb... still cant get in afterall... think no choice but to go nus le... perhaps its a blessing in disguise? cos the smu course veri tough... veri stessed up... but afterall its the course i wan... but nw hav to settle for my 2nd choice... in life... we dont always get the things we wan, arent we? nw proceed to see whether can disrupt army n admit to this coming yr or not... hope so... cos i dont wan to waste a yr...

wow... todae mom bought ice-cream!! my all time fav food... 3 boxes in total... 2 chocolate n 1 corn... haha... well... as i typed... half the chocolate n corn is gone?!?!? sis gonna giv me a thrashing cos she haven eat yet... haha...

shag... commandos in trouble again... an officer met an mishap over at hendon... shag... got drowned... nw investigations are brewing i supposed... hope wont spilled over to our side like last time... where my bosses went to testify at high court.... think nw had to assure the recruits' parents... gonna be a hefty load...

yesterdae was a full happening dae... alot of things happen.... weird things though... last night got duty... shag out.. yesterdae i was super moody... mood swing all the wae... don no n not sure why... poor louis keep got scolding from me... hope he don mind... sorry bro...

yesterdae morning was super happening... got parents came to camp and made a complain regarding an officer... shag... the whole family came n it consist of the parents, uncle and sister.. the whole family was super hot n hostile, i should say... everyone was eagerly trying to find out wats happening... haha.. it turn out to be the son was bullied by SOF people... crazy fellows... but the sister was super ah lian... 17 yrs old and her face is full of thick makeup... not to mention the mother...

last night had a ghostly experience... went over to the sniper room to rest for the night... the lights of the room beside the sniper room was off n everything was usual as per normal... but when 6am i went over to call my fren the guard com... the lights of the room was on!!! shag... tried to enter the room but the room was locked... then i went to toilet and went over to check out the room again... n the best thing is... the lights dimmed and slowly turned off in front of me... wat the hell... then my fren went back to guardroom n he said that he jus slept at 5.30am nia... cos the whole night the errie room keep having funni noises......weird... shag...

another funni experience... 2 days ago jus dreamt of her... it was so real... woke up halfway n found out to be a dream... but the moment i slept back... the dream jus continued.... weird... when i woke up... missed her so much... feel like maybe dropping her a msg ba... but jus.....forget it...... then this morning out of the blue she msg me and ask me how am i these days.... funni experience... but i did nothing...

from this fri onwards... life will be super sian n boring... bad bad news... from this fri onwards... n for the next 2 months... there will be totally no guards... everydae will be lack of guards... n the best news is... there will be only 8 of us to men the fort...

2 months = 120days
8 guards per day
total personnel needed is 720...

8 people to cover...
therefore... each person do 120 duties?!?!

how am i gonna motivate my guys... they looked shag n worn out...

this weekend a boring weekend... todae merely went for driving lesson nia... nothing much... sick of staying at home... but hav too... cos lost too much to soccer... no money n no mood to go out... sian... feel like going for a run... but my left kneecap got prob... keep having a cracking sound when i bent my legs... sian... think forget it ba... run till i die!!!

tonight maybe its my lucky night... nearly took czech republic n wack 300 on it... lucky i didnt.. else i will be 300 poorer... luck is getting worse n worse... tonight is a kelong match... world ranking no 2 vs ghana... n czech lost 2-0 n got dominated in the whole match? kaoz... wat the hell man... thinking of it... i been gambling for 4 yrs.. since world cup 2002... jus feel its time to end this whole shit from where it started...

todae is a sucky... moody dae... not in the mood to do things.... afternoon went for a swim... a short swim with ken... due to ken's giddyness n my moodyness.. we jus swim for an hour then head home... super sian... stupid mexcio... this world cup it contributed to major of my losses... 260 in total... haiz...

a week had passed since world cup started last week... its beginning to get interesting... jus witness argentina thrashed S&M... nice game... its a truely football game... attacking and unselfish football..

nothing much happened this week... todae jus got fire drill exercise in camp... a bit boring... got a officer keep nagging at us... unbearable... keep repeating the same things over n over again... haha...

a fren send me this... quite meaningful;

Sooner or later, everyone you know will disappoint you in some way. They'll say something or fail to say something that will hurt you. And they'll do something or fail to do something that will anger you. It's able.

Unfortunately, you make things worse when you stew over someone's words and deeds. When you dwell on a rude remark or an insensitive action made by another person, you're headed for deeper problems.In fact, the more you dwell on these things, the more bitter you'll get.You'll find your joy, peace and happiness slipping away. And you'll find your productivity slowing down as you find more and more time thinking about the slight or telling others about it. Eventually, if you don't stop doing it, you'll even get sick. So what should you do the next time someone betrays you?

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS.

Even though the other person may be at fault, even though the other person wronged you, you are still responsible for your own feelings.In other words, other people do not "cause" your feelings. You choose them.For example, two different people could be told that their suggestions made at the staff meeting were stupid and idiotic." One person may "choose" to feel so hurt that he never speaks up at any other meeting again. The other person may "choose" to feel sorry for the critic, sorry that the critic couldn't see the wisdom and necessity of her suggestions.As long as you blame other people for your feelings, as long as you believe other people caused your feelings, you're stuck. You're a helpless victim.But if you recognize the fact that you choose your feelings and you are responsible for your feelings, there's hope. You can take some time to think about your feelings. And you can decide what is the best thing to say or do.

Then, you've got to learn to WALK AWAY FROM DISAPPOINTMENT.It's difficult to do, but it's possible. The famous 19th century Scottish historian, Thomas Carlyle, proved that. After working on his multi-volume set of books on "The French Revolution" for six years, Carlyle completed the manuscript and took volume one to his friend John Stuart Mill. He asked Mill to read it.Five days later, Mill's maid accidentally threw the manuscript into the fire. In agony, Mill went to Carlyle's house to tell him that his work had been destroyed.Carlyle did not flinch. With a smile, he said, "That's all right, Mill. These things happen. It is a part of life. I will start over. I can remember most of it, I am sure. Don't worry. It's all here in my mind. Go, my friend! Do not feel bad."As Mill left, Carlyle watched him from the window. Carlyle turned to his wife and said, "I did not want him to see how crushed I am by this misfortune." And with a heavy sigh, he added, "Well the manuscript is gone, so I had better start writing again."Carlyle finally completed the work, which ranks as one of the great classics of all time. He had learned to walk away from his disappointment.After all, what could Carlyle have done about his burnt manuscript?Nothing. Nothing would have resurrected the manuscript. All Carlyle could do was to get bitter or get started. And what can you do about anything once it is over? Not much. You can try to correct it if it is possible, or you can walk away from it if it isn't. Those are your only two choices.Sometimes you've just got to shake it off and step up.

It's like the farmer who had an old mule who fell into a deep dry well. As he assessed the situation, he knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, to lift the heavy mule out of the deep well.So the farmer decided to bury the mule in the well.After all, the mule was old and the well was dry, so he could solve two problems at once. He could put the old mule out of his misery and have his well filled.The farmer asked his neighbors to help him with the shoveling. To work they went. As they threw shovel-full of dirt after shovel-full of dirt on the mule's back, the mule became frightened.Then all of a sudden an idea came to the mule. Each time they would throw a shovel-full of dirt on his back; he would shake it off and step up. Shovel-full after shovel-full, the mule would shake it off and step up. In not too long a time, the exhausted and dirty mule stepped over the top of the well and through the crowd.

That's the same approach we all need to take. We need to shake it off and step up.Finally, you need to FORGIVE. It's difficult, especially when the other person doesn't deserve your forgiveness or doesn't even seek it. It's difficult when the other person is clearly in the wrong.Part of the difficulty comes from a common misunderstanding of forgiveness.Forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person's behavior is okay. And forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person is off the hook. He's still responsible for his misbehavior.Forgiveness is about letting yourself off the emotional hook. It's about releasing your negative emotions, attitudes, and behaviors. It's about letting go of the past so you can go forward to the future.Everyone in your life, everyone on and off the job is going to disappoint you. If you know how to respond to those situations, you'll be way ahead of most people. You'll be able to live above and beyond your circumstances.Action:Identify two people that have disappointed, hurt, or angered you. If possible, select two people towards whom you still have some bitterness.Then ask yourself, "How does my bitterness serve me? Am I happier holding on to it?Do I sleep better?Is my life richer, fuller, and better because of my bitterness?"If you find that your bitterness is hurting you, make a decision.Actually decide to let it go.Walk away from the disappointment -- which means you no longer dwell on it or talk about it.

todae had a long dae.... last night watch world cup all night long with my cousins... haha... then morning woke up for a brief driving lesson... after that met up with pals for lunch... tok cock session at coffee bean n then X-MEN 3 at tampines mall... saw a realli funni part.... when wolverine is in the forest looking for jean after she killed the professor.... he got intercepted by a mutant who attacked him where he threw wooden spikes which came out from his hand... then wolverine killed him but he got injured in the process where he got poked by 2 spikes... the funni thing is...he healed n recovered... yes... but his shirt still got the 2 holes caused by the spikes... but when he found jean n got caught by magneto.... where he was hanged onto the tree... his shirt is BRAND NEW!!! haha... this is the funni part... no nonsense... hahaha... my eyes are sharp....

after movie... went over to chalet again.. for a run.. not bad... ran 7 runs ard the section of the park... n then feast on the bbq food... yummy... haha... then cycle back home from the chalet... tiring but fun... haha... sian... this weekend is so fast!!! but an enjoyable weekend...

sianz... its jus the second day of world cup...n i lost all my capital? sianz to the max... all thanks to sweden... jus watched the match... Trinidad And Tobago's 1st choice keeper n best defender is injured? they are down to 10 men at the start of second half? all-out attack football from sweden? 25 shots on goal with 6 shots on target? and......none went in...... this is crazy.......

todae went to chalet... cousin 21st bdae... its was fun... as usual... it was raining... haha... tmr morning got driving again... then going back to the chalet for a jog... been eating too much fatty food le... haa

shag dae todae... i can sense my body is giving way to sickness..... or its the world cup fever? nah... flu... headache.... running nose.... killing me n draining me of my energy... tmr still got chalet... not in the best of form... world cup gonna start in 2hours time... haha...

tmr gonna be a long dae... tmr is enlistment day for newbies... haha... this is the last batch i will be seeing then i be ORD!!! yeah... then can start to countdown lo... ok la... still long...

camp been busting with activities... can sae that its the busiest period i ever seen... 33th RANGER course gonna start soon n hell is here!!! cant wait to see wats installed this time round.... all hell gonna break loose... can see all the people building up their fitness by running like mad cows here n there... haha...

forgot to mention yesterdae... we had a new puppy at our guardroom... haha... its a newborn puppy... black in color... n its filled with worms..lice.....n stuff... took ages to clean it up... n todae its running ard like an infant... cute n funni... keep biting my boots....don no y... its still veri small in size... n like to play hide n seek with us... cant seem to find it sometimes... haha... but sad to sae... boss knew abt it n wan us to... as usual... dump the dog somewhere... shag... see tmr how ba... hope he too busy to remember it... haha...

world cup tmr!!! cant wait for it to start... haha

todae is the happiest dae of my life this yr so far.... verdict is out... i'm clear of all the wrong doings that i'm accused of... finally justice is served and fufilled... jus got extras for failure to report to superior nia... been troubled and worried for so long.... at last can have a new lease of life...

world cup is just around the corner!!! wooh... this coming fri... temptations n temptations...... the temptation to soccer betting is back... should i or should i not? its self-determination vs temptations...

sianz... so fast weekend gonna be over... this week gonna be a long week... 5 full working days... plus this fri enlistment... gonna be fucking crazy... running ard n be a mad horse..... shag... anyway... i eagerly looking forward to next weekend...cos world cup... n the best thing is... i can watch for free... cos don no why my tv can receive... jus like Euro 2004...haha... perhaps its the great singapore sale season ba... whahaa...

todae went to buy the levis 40dollars jeans... hmm... ken.....shaoliang...lynn had mixed feelings... they feel the jeans not nice? i feel ok la... maybe its the free factor in my mind... cos got the voucher... haha... went for a pool session... my form is super suay... no matter how i aim or wat so ever... the white ball always go in... damn... think pool fusion 2 too noisy le... the music is not music...its noise... pool fusion 3 is the best... 1 also not bad... think will be a long time till i play pool again... hahaahah... remainder of the month is world cup month...

sianz... i got sun burn... wonder how i got it... apply sun tan on body... sun block on face... still tio sun burn... tats funni... face and body a bit red red + black... haha... funni combination... yesterdae didnt go anywhere... not much mood to go out... mom felt veri weird... haha... she sae sat see me at home the feeling very funni... haha... todae nothing on... another dae at home n be a gd boy... tmr night duty... wat a gd dae to start of my mondae blues.... sigh...

hotwooh... todae is a fiery red hot sat... super hot sun... gd weather to swim but not a weather to go out... haha... noon went for a swim... was freaking filled with people in the pool... shag... no traffic control in the water... everyone was here n there... haha... had a gd tan too... swam too much till i got cramp... haha... later not sure doing wat nor going where n following which side... haha...

todae had a gd time learning driving... overall its a smooth drive... but somethings need to be touched up upon... my moving off is not veri good yet... will get anxious when theres vehicle behind and will be pressurized... todae spent most of the time travelling on normal roads... not bad... lucky not too mani cars too... haha... another thing is on my changing gears... sometimes gd sometime bad... need to focus on my weakness...

gosh... think i'm falling sick soon... ate too much snacks this week... cant stop myself from doing so... keep feeding myself with those sinful food... n this whole week having a sore throat... drink more water no use... jus make me keep doing toilet... haha... gotta stop eating my hello panda... haha... tonight staying home... ran out of places to go... except pool theres nothing much for me to do lo...

some thoughts from a fren's email;

Being Too NiceAre you too nice?

Does this question sound strange to you? How can anyone be "too nice"? Isn't being "nice" a good quality to have in a relationship?

True, people do value niceness in others, but if your way of being nice is to suppress your own needs constantly, you are being too nice for your own good. If you always put the needs of others first, and your own needs last, if you don't speak out when your own needs are ignored, then you are being too nice for your own good.

When you express your niceness as a sign of genuine respect, kindness and interest in another person, it's a wonderful quality to have. But when the "nice"-ness is a by-product of low self-esteem, passivity, or desperate loneliness, it can be a liability, and can make other people feel uneasy or guilty, or even attract the sort of people who are willing to exploit you.

Have you ever met a person who never expresses their real preferences, opinions, or desires, even in the smallest matters? When someone asks them "where do you want to go tonight?" they reply, "I don't care, anything is fine with me, where do you want to eat?"

A person who won't state their opinion or preference may think they are being nice, but this is not niceness; this is a form of fearfulness, and a lack of self-respect. Some people develop the trait of never asking for what they want because they were raised in a family where expressing wants or opinions was discouraged, or even disallowed.

They may have been literally taught that they shouldn't speak up, that they shouldn't want anything for themselves, and that everyone else's opinion mattered more than theirs.
A child who grew up in a family where they weren't allowed to express their needs or opinions, may grow up believing that this is how the whole world wants them to behave, even after they have become adults. They may find it difficult to take the initiative in any situation involving other people. They may feel uncomfortable or fearful expressing their desires. They may even feel they are being "bad" if they ask for anything.
In relationships that are healthy and satisfying, both people share responsibility equally when making plans and decisions.

If you believe that being nice means never asking for anything for yourself, it's important to learn to pay attention to your needs, to respect yourself, and to ask for what you want and need. Take your turn making decisions with others. Make your needs and preferences heard.

If you find your wishes are always being ignored, take a close look at why this is happening and see how you can change it.

yeah... finally fixed the the setting on my blog... nw the time n date is correct le.... haha... finally... last night didnt blog... cos went out with ken n shaoliang to our usual place...haha..... pool fusion again... last night was in the mood to play... 百发百中... haha... but todae was freaking tired though... cos reached home 2++... anyway... spent most of the time slping in camp... wat a great feeling... haha...

weekend coming lo!! first thing for tmr... tmr driving lesson... finally... been 3 weeks since i stopped learning driving legally... haha... think the instructor sucks... think he too many students le... cant even arrange lessons twice a week with him... think if this goes on i better go take school lessons better... faster to get my license this way...

~Afraid Of~

- Injections
- People tickling me
- Scary movies
- Cockroaches

~DISLIKES~

- My clumsy acts
- Vegatables
- Sci-fic movies
- People who take me for granted
- Latecomers

~LIKES~

- Bowling
- I like to disturb animals
- Ktv
- Joke and disturb people, including parents
- Hello Panda
- Fried chicken/KFC
- Chocolates
- Chocolate Ice-cream
- Coco krunch with milk every morning
- Milo powder
- Cycling
- Watch Fireworks
- Nature
- Roti Prata
- Melted cheese

Jamie
Kelly
Wilson
Jeffery
Hazel
Michelle
Mei Hui
Cindy
Faye
Dawn
Wanting
Xinyi
Huifang
Yanwen
Gary
Xue Mei
Xiao Qian


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