Monday, February 27, 2006
Attention: right click, go to encoding and click "unicode"...thanksback from guard duty... shag... having a terrible headache... perhaps i was thinking too much le ba... had a shock of my life on sat night... but it was kind of expected... perhaps its my sixth sense... i was stunned n my heart had sank n i can realli feel it.... i'm killed n done this time... sucked n dry.... i was right... the nicks in her friendster n msn refers to another guy... shes in love with another man... i can feel it... but i jus wan her confirmation... feel abit of strange... initially thought it refers to me... haha...wat a joke n wishful thinking on my part... but when tried to ask her out for movie.....dinner....got rejected....so got this feeling of it wasnt me... n its true...heard from her tat the guy is her poly fren... her classmate of 3 yrs n project mate for 3 yrs.... well.... wat to do nw... no matter wat i do nw is down to the drain.... theres so much misunderstanding n misperception in the air... n she doesnt wan to sort it out n i jus got the death penalty straight... regardless of wat i do is useless... no effect n no result... kind of find her contradicting... she wans me to be her fren... but doesnt wan others to mistaken we r still together... n sort of say to be fair to him n her..... well... i offer to back out n let them be together... if there is a man who loves her more than i do n she will be happier with him than with me... i give up... if she is happy... i will be happy for her... loving someone is not by possessing her... its by seeing her attaining happiness everyday... i couldnt give her tat... hope he would... however she said that i'm not a gentleman by severing ties with her... wat can i do? if be frens... she doesnt wan others to be mistaken... don wan to be frens... i not a gentleman... walk both ways also dead end... wat can i do??? i already lost n given up my loved one in my life to another man... wat more she wans? watever happens nw... i wont be bothered already...my fate is already sealed n no point argueing anymore... it jus like jay's song....希望他是真的比我还要爱你我才会逼自己离开你要我说多难堪我根本不想分开为什么还要我用微笑来带过我没有这种天份包容你也接受他不用担心的太多我会一直好好过你已经远远离开我也会慢慢走开为什么我连分开都迁就着你我真的没有天份安静的没这么快我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你even break up le still need to listen to her?? find tat this song's lyrics suits me alot..... fated for me...
OnCe UpOn A tImE, i BeLiEvE... 6:40 PM;
Saturday, February 25, 2006
i'm so blur nw.... wat does she mean? i don no wats she thinking n wats on her mind..... her msn nick n friendster post sounds.....i don no how to describe....haiz.... she wans mi back? i don no... i feel perhaps that she sounds.... but things on hand doesnt look like this... tried to ask her out for dinner...movie......but nothing so far... rejection is wat i get..... perhaps i should kill myself off my thinking.... U R So fAr aWaY NoW... WhErE'S My cItIgEm riNg?? wAiTiNg FoR U BaCk!I SaW OnE black PrInCeSsY DrEsS!! YeAH! sEe yA @ MOS on 4Th mARCH - posted today perhaps theres a new guy in her life now....i don no.... if she found a better guy... i can only wish her happiness.... if she happy i will be happy no matter wat.....right nw i jus concentrate on my last present.... find it ironic... when i wan to do it.....i got no time......nw i got time.... its meaningless... fate seems to like me alot.....always make fun of me....its ok.... i understand the fact that wats mine will be mine eventually....
OnCe UpOn A tImE, i BeLiEvE... 5:00 PM;
Thursday, February 09, 2006
i think i'm realli unlucky.... my unlucky streak goes on n on..... 2 days back got shot by birdshit while walking... n the shit landed on my swinging hands....can u believe tat..... n todae....... a tonner knocked down the last barrier tat is protecting our miserable camp....nw.... the 2 barriers are gone n all the things at camp looks a sorry piece of thrash....arh....... when will my luck change?
OnCe UpOn A tImE, i BeLiEvE... 6:23 PM;
Sunday, February 05, 2006
todae feeling much better......perhaps due to the coffee session with her? or its the ring tat she returned to mi? anywae... first meeting in weeks n glad to see her.... as a fren..... n had a coffee session with her.... hope i did not bored her out..... thanks for the coffee though... she returned the ring to mi n i was happy tat this familiar little thing is back with mi..... nw its hanging at ard on my neck....placed it somewhere close to my heart..... feeling veri much better already..... things are getting better.....keke..... i knw its jus psychological effect to make mi feel better.... but anywae it feels good...keke... i will keep this ring close to my heart....
OnCe UpOn A tImE, i BeLiEvE... 8:08 PM;
nw its 4 am in the morning......why am i still awake????????? cant seemed to slp peacefully...... y i keep thinking of her??? why u keep harbouring hopes of she returning to ur side????? shes gone forever..... u so miserable n sad not a single soul will knw......n u hav to act happi.....brave......in front of others....... i realli cant take it anymore..... this is making mi crazy............ arhhhhhhhhhhhhh........wat the hell is wrong with mi...................................................................................................
OnCe UpOn A tImE, i BeLiEvE... 3:59 AM;
Friday, February 03, 2006
life is really going downhill for me...another diseaster after another.... why cant life be as calm as i wanted too? all the things in my life is messing mi up...turning me to an unknown person....even i couldnt recognize myself... if god realli wan to make fun of mi...let me tell u...u had done it....u at done it successfully... i'm a sore loser nw n in my lowest point of life.... you should be veri happi nw...aren't u?????????????????????????? ans mi pls.........................
my $3k is realli gone......gone down to the drain.....if this 3k is converted to 3000 1-dollar coins.....i wonder how mani drains i can fill........ its ok to out of love......but nw its a double combination......wat make mi looking forward to each dae is to earn big money..... gd money n gd life.......nw its gone......perhaps it is all fated? everytime in the past as we go out......whenever she saw the stuff she likes.....n she hinted me to buy it for her....i cant.....i dont have the financial power.......n i felt so ashamed n disgraced....i cant fulfill the happiness of my loved ones....how can i promised them a gd life????????? i don wan to be a poor man anymore... i wan to be rich.....richer......richest......... i still remember tat one weekend we went to far east plaza... n we went to the toilet inside a hotel close to far east.... as i waited for her.....i saw a jewellery shop having a diamond sale......god.....it was damn gorgeous!!! the diamond rings were shining brightly n were veri veri beautiful..... but it costs 7K!! her 21st birthdae gonna be here soon.....n how can i dream to buy it for her????????????????????????????????????
then i thought of it........ if i were to put money into it nw......by her birthdae i would hav the money to buy it for her!!! perhaps this will became the engagement ring?? n she will surely loved it.....i can dream of her smiles n laugher when she gets this precious gift.... but its all gone.....i'm out of love....n my money is gone.... life is meaningless for me nw.... i had nothing to my name anymore..... this is my darkest secret of my life.... this is the onli place i can tok to abt my probs n no one will ever came to knw abt it.....shes gone.....n never be back... this is me....lonely me n my lonely blog..... how can anyone endure this tragedy.... not even the strongest man on earth ba......
wat i regret in my life is........ the last fight that broke us up in the end.....initially i was happy that she made trouble for mi....then so tat weekend we wont be going out n then i can hav extra cash to put inside it.....then can generate extra money for mi.....so my goal can reach earlier..... n its just a normal fight.... but... the normal fight became a big fight n till reach the stage of no return.....thinking it back.... if i can choose between 3k n her.....i rather giv up the 3k... but now....too late to do this n that.... wat i can sae or do nw? its all fated... i'm already ready to accept my fate..... i used to believe fate lies in ur hands.....n men is the control of his destiny...nw not anymore....life is fragile... u can be super rich todae n can be declared a bankrupt tmr..... u can be the world's healthiest person but tmr u can get stroke n paralyzed tmr..... its hard to start all over again... but hope wat tv series sae is true....time can heal everything....jus hope i can startup financially again... pick myself up from this thrash n then begin a new life without love.....
hope i can succeed.... wish mi luck blog....
OnCe UpOn A tImE, i BeLiEvE... 8:50 PM;
