todae jus came back from duty... feeling a bit sick..... shag... evening stayed back till 8pm to help out in the CSLC in their 6km fast march... think its the rain... got slightly drenched.... nw a bit headache... next 2-3 weeks will be the toughest period in my life.....next mon onwards from 3-16 i will staying in camp..... all the wae..... no going home n jus in camp......no elsewhere..... i wonder how am i gonna pull through...... think it will be alright... this weekend must a gd rest at home... enjoy the feel of home b4 leaving on mon... will return onli on the 18.. cos 17 duty n its a 24hrs duty.... n during this period i still need to clear numerous duty as well... physical n mentally tired..... my blog n friendster will reach a standstill.... jus finshed packing my stuff n still got somemore to go.....need to check out whether the remaining stuff is in locker or not... else need to go n buy le.... tmr bring my full battle order to camp first...mon then bring my essential stuff... better make a list... else... the 14 days will be a torture... wish me luck......

wat a sucky dae...nw i knw my luck is fucking fucking fucking unlucky..... i fated to be a bad luck bastard... intend to leave camp early to pick up sis birthdae cake at breadtop... intend to leave at 4.30...but at tat point of time, a warrant n a master sergeant went for a jog jus as we abt to go... n they are veri garung and are a bunch of sorry saddists... thought we wait for 15min b4 leaving cos they everytime jog veri long distance n i don believe they we will meet into them... jus as we went out... saw them jogging back.... wat the hell... shag... my fren do a turbo turn n turn into a pet farm n waited till they jog past us... lucky they did not detect us..... i was still grimming.... wat a joke....call themselves commandoS? haha

as we turn out, i still don believe i so unlucky.... then i tell my fren......if boss call me nw...... i from tmr onwards will nv leave early... i will fall out at the standard timing..... WA..... fuck..... jus as we on TPE... phone ring.....n boss ask mi go his office..... can u believe it? i give up man... fren drove me back n the rest is history...

went to see boss n he update me on my case.... fuck...i was right... AO realli wan mi dead..... wat a jerk... she sae till so nicely to me and offer to help on my case... in the end... she wan mi dead.... she wan to me to go to jail!!! detention barrack to be exact.... lucky boss plead for my behalf... he said that she don like my face n the way i talk during the investigation.... fuck...i was so polite to her...everything is answered with yes madam no madam... n she treat me like tat... in the first place i knew that she dont like me....accuse me of things i didnt do... i did not do anything to provoke in the past.....don no why she wan me dead... sianz.... hope this case can pass n settled quickly..... haiz.....

anywae.... celebrated sis birthdae todae...ate pizza n chicken... ha....hope it can cure me of my troubles..... so much things happened to me nw...shag

haha... todae off... feel so good... jus got home from dental....slack the rest of the dae away!!! todae rainy weather... if i were in camp, i will slp the whole dae too... feels so gd.... onli dae tat doesnt hav mondae blues... whaaha... went for dental at selarang camp... shag.... to see my wisdom tooth... the dentist recommend to take off my 2 upper tooth cos he sae is of no use n its extra tooth..... n i find it troublesome also... cos food will stuck there everytime i eat..... n i eat most of the time..... n........u knw......haha... n will hav uclers cos its kind of slanted...haha... but the thing is... to take the tooth out...... the advantage is onli 1 dae MC!!! for so much pain n suffering? nah...i rather to keep the tooth..... my fren went to pluck the tooth b4.....alot of complications... fever....swelling...n stuff.... but he got a week MC... which is gd....me? 1 dae....wat the hell... i rather go take normal MC.....haha....

yesterdae a long dae for me..... the moment i wake up...saw ken's msg..... chio me go swim.....n 5 mins later i changed n was ready for my swim....haha....n 5 mins ago i was lazing in bed.....that was fast!! haha... swim until halfwae rained....shag.... went home to bathe n went over to aunt house at queenswae to fix the com... long journey... but got mp3 to acc me....not so shag.... think i need to add one more item to my wishlist...mp3 player... feels so gd to listen to music when u out... n esp when u got nothing to do...

well... after fixed the com....went over to bugis once again for pool with ken....haha.....i was always with him!!! haha.. not surprising though...had a bad bad pool session..... too much distractions le....hhahaha...

abit sianz.... haven sort out my future yet.....whether to study or work.... work is gd...u got $$$$$$$ n i wan money..... the world is all abt money.... but if i don have a degree.... how to earn big $? but i will be wasting 4 long yrs....... also feel like taking part time but i don hav the motivation.....haiz.... delimma....

sundae morning.....jus got home from duty..... shag..... duty wasnt shag......but my mind was... dreamt of her while sleeping in camp.... not the 1st time le.... haiz... hope my dream could carry on but was disrupted by my fren... back to reality n wat a drastic change between dreams n reality.... i'm showing signs of weakness.... why am i like tat.... why why why.... always got the urge to msg her... to find out hows she coping n stuff.... but i backed out at the last min.... keep telling myself.. shes doing well nw..... why should u go back into her life? u would open up old wounds n both parties would be heated up or sad.... u like tat can already...don drag others in.... somemore she may feel i'm a nusiance to her..... life is boring..... i'm seriously struggling..... in life n in army.... better don msg her ba.... if she knws i'm in this pathetic stage....think she would laugh ba.... its all abt mental.... yet i cant put it pass me.... i'm so weak...... the only way i can save myself nw is to win this psychological battle on my own....

fri night went over to a pub.... the place not bad...... high classed... but the experience on the wae there was shag.... fren drove the car into the opposite direction..... into a 3 wae lane... ahaha.... initially was feeling weird why can see so mani cars' headlights...until when cars starting avoiding us n honk at us then we knw..... hahah.. everyone was so shocked.... lucky did not get into any acccident...

this week is a tough week..investigations investigations n investigations....sibei sianz...life is boring... weekend still got duty...double combo.... shag.... nw super low of my life.... this yr so much things happened to me... why i'm so unlucky.....realli cant believe it..

hope i can pass this diseaster...wish me luck....

my life took a turning point todae.... i was surprised by myself.... the dae start as per normal... duties n duties.... n 56SAB RSM went for his routine run........ n out of the blue he came over to ask mi for a piece of wood... n he ask me to help in rescuing a dog thats trap in the drain for days... when he said that.... the first thing that came to my mind is "hope its tat black dogs... one kick from me n they will fly out from the drain....no need any plank of wood... whaha" i went over n to my horror surprise... its a brown dog n its was in a terrible condition.... its body had numerous scratches with blood.... legs are reddish with rashes.... face is disfigured by skin diseases as well... its face was filled with sadness n sorrow..... i don think theres anyone in this world is sadder than mi....but i was wrong.... the dog had beat me to it.....

the dog is quickly rescued swiftly under my command code named "dog fight"...hahaha.....1st thing is to feed it with food n water.... n for the whole dae....the dog keep following us ard... where ever we go...it sure follow us....its like one of our own.... repaying its kindess to us?!?!? maybe... however it was god damn smelly even though i wash it.... shag.... but it was cute... first time in my life i took pity on an animal if i not wrong..... even my frens were surprised with my sudden change of heart....i even volunteer to buy a chicken wing for her.... hahaha...

todae out of the blue 4 of my men sent for course.....shag.....shortage of shortage of manpower... their guard duties the remaining us had to cover... this 2 weeks gonna be tough....

so sad... nw is sundae evening already...time flies so fast.... hate it.....todae is another busy dae....woke up at 9++ to discover that i'm late for swimming with my usual pals....ken n shaoliang...supposed to go to sentosa... but we settled for somewhere nearer...veri near.... safra....wahhahaaha..... wooh...a gd place to tan...... swam quite a few laps n started tanning... fun n laughter is in the air n we intend to play chinese chess while tanning next week!! cos its damn bored jus to lie there...hahaa...

next up after swimming we went to century to have lunch.....jack's place... had a gd n cheap set lunch.... steak... soup... desert... coffee.... jus for 10bucks....can u believe it? haha... we then head to bugis..... once again for praying..... hope my luck improved this week n from nw on... we then sum up the dae at pool fusion... once again???!?!! haha... this weekend.... every dae is pool at pool fusion at bugis...except is at different place... fri went to pool fusion 3....... sat is at pool fusion 2....n todae its at pool fusion 1!! haa..gonna read my maxim later... haven read or bought a single magazine for the past 2 months...hope this coming week will be a short week.... hope everything goes well for mi....realli hope.... looking forward to next sun swim n tan... time to build up on my appearance.... n my outlook.... yeah....cant wait to wear my new new new new new new pair of shoes....hahaahaha...

next week hope to do something new... life is too routine.... shag...tmr gonna buy pimple cream.. cost 100+ for sure... time to work out my finances n make full use of the money to have fun!! haha....


Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back...
Don not expect love in return..
jus wait for it to grow in their heart
if it does not...
be content that it grew in yours

todae felt much better.... had assurance from boss....he promised to stand up for me and he is determined to find out who is the fucker who made the false report... he called up the military police side and he said the most sever punishment is extras... n wont get charge.... lucky... he said that even i got extras... i wont had to serve it...whahaha....monday had to find CO n tell him the true story...even though boss already told him...

todae went SHOPPING!! first time ever... i seldom seldom shop....once in mani yrs? haha... bought a pair of sneakers from nike.... cost me 149... but its value for money....its a high cut shoe n i like it alot alot....cant wait to wear it next week.....keke... yeah..... nw saving up for a gd phone...this is my next target.....

my life is already veri bad n todae my life jus got another beating... how mani more to go?? out of the blue theres a report from military police filing charges against mi.... stating tat i'm a middleman helping others selling guard duties in view of commission... this is not my style.... n wonder which fucker backstab me... n the details of the report is totally wrong... fuck.....mon gonna report to the investigation officer... got alot of explaination to do...

my fren came over to seek help on 24/1.... his grandpa was in hospital n was on the verge of death.... well... he died on the 28/1... n he got duty on tat dae....i not the type of heartless creature to force him to do duty....so i tried to get people to change duty but to no avail. therefore....he got no choice but to sell....at 50dollars... so i helped him to get a buyer..which is my another fren....whose papa is out of job.....n he needs money... so....deal done..... n nw the report came out and said that my fren sold the duty at 80dollars n i took a 20dollars commission..... wat the hell.... i told boss directly.....ya....selling duty is wrong n nw we get caught...we will ans for it.... but what the hell suddenly accuse mi of things i didnt do?? i'm veri tired already..... i'm already down n out.....why fate still play such a joke for me.... i cant take it anymore..life is damn meaningless.....

can someone tell mi wat to do??? i nv felt so helpess in my life....i cant make decisions in my life any longer... my life is beyond my limits n control anymore.... n my fate is in other people's hands..... realli going crazy.....

life sucks right now for me... living everydae in confusion... i think i'm going crazy.... sometimes feel happy.... sometimes out of the blue will feel sad... arhh... going crazy.... my mind is still veri mixed up.... i haven put this failed relationship away... how can i get over it? need some serious advice... sometimes i feel i'm a loser... why am i still thinking abt it when she is having fun? having fun with him at chalet, perhaps? or having fun with her frens.. i dont no... why am i still browsing her friendster everydae? haiz... n so keen to find out hows her new life and see whether if she post any latest happenings in her life.... its like... in the past i lived everydae for her... nw its over....y the things i do is still associated with her n still so bothered with her?? i tried to learn to be happy... but i failed....

i knw....even we get back together its of no use....she will soon leave me again.... not for that man but for another man... i keep telling to myself... wats the use of keeping a woman by ur side if she doesnt love me and her heart is with another man? i jus wish he can treat her well... in the past....i already knew tat this relationship cant last long cos of our differences.... but we try to work things out....nw shes gone i should be happy.... but......jus don no..... its so confusing.... i don think i can fall in love again......ever....... my life is in a mess nw.... think i will take yrs for mi to get over this.... hopefully...... wish theres a medicine tat could let mi forget abt this failed relationship..... i don no why i love her so much..... the first cut is always the deepest.............

shag... tmr got guard duty and its 12am nw... why i still not in bed? haha... todae is a busy dae... last night slept at 4am... woke up at 8am... basketball session at 10am... went home for bathe n nap n followed by a pool session... wooh...its was great!! wack the balls so hard that can hear a PIAT loud sound... haha... skills had improved??!!! maybe? or perhaps i had more concentration.... ken was crazy... he served n hit the ball so hard that the ball keep flying out.... n i had to collect it.....sae......10m away? the counter gal was like... wats this guy keep going here n there?? haha... after pool..... met the gals at can cafe for some drinks... quite bored cos they seemed to be engrossed on their own... the place was smoky..... think next time go there must bring cigar... polluted the air back....hahaha.....

i hate to stay at home...don no y..... hates this feeling more n more....staying at home makes me sick.... my mind tend to think alot.....which is harmful n not gd...... go out n have fun is much better..... next week will be a busy weekend... need to buy myself a new pair of shoes!!! a new handphone maybe? pray at si ma lu for luck n studies... swim with ken... club or chill out perhaps if theres enough time?? packed life.... but i loving it.... i looking forward to next weekend..... to shop on my own..... nv had this experience b4... eager to try it out... haha... time to build up on my appearance rather than spending money on gambling..... right?

How To Heal a Broken Heart

The pain of an ended relationship is one of those universal experiences that we all share. There's no easy way to get through it, but these steps may help.

Difficulty: Hard

Time Required: Varies

Here's How:

1. It's okay to grieve for a time. Seek support from your friends and family as you come to terms with the changes in your life.

2. Don't look at past relationships as failures, but rather as opportunities to learn and improve your relationship skills.

3. Don't worry that you're not in a relationship. Your value comes from who you are, not who you're with.

4. You don't have to be a recluse just because you aren't a couple. Treat yourself to an evening out doing something you enjoy. Take along a friend if it's not a solo activity.

5. Treat yourself to a special gift now and then. You are a special person and you deserve it.

6. There's more to life than romantic love. Take this opportunity to nurture your friends,
family and self.

7. Take some time to reevaluate what you need in a relationship. Have you been choosing partners who are not capable of a loving and mature relationship?

8. Be willing to take another chance on love. Like they say, you can't win if you don't play.

9. Be a friend to yourself. If you care about yourself, the odds are better you will attract those you care about you too.

10. If you're finding it hard to let go of a relationship, you may need to seek counseling. An obsessive need to be with someone who no longer wants a relationship may be a sign of love addiction.

11. Avoid jumping into a rebound relationship. Take some time to work through all the issues from your previous one.

12. Don't try to get revenge. This will only slow your progress in healing from the hurt.

13. Forgive yourself. You can't change the past, but you can learn from your mistakes and not repeat them.

14. Forgive your partner. This doesn't mean that you are saying what happened is okay. What it means is cutting your losses and not investing any more time in something that hurts you.

life as busy as usual... todae is camp inspection n things realli screwed up in the morning... haha... don talk abt it le... update abt life so far... watched wolf creep last fri... the show still ok but abit lame... haha... nw the ending sucks n critics still sae the movie is gd..best horror ever? yeah right...

fri is a shag day... nearly stayed till veri late in camp... boss charged one of his guys absent without official leave.... the guy sort of crazy... gonna leave the army soon n still don wan to come n serve his remaining days... wat a joke... sort of my fren as we greet n talk sometimes... n i had to escort him to dentention barrack.... shag... he came back at afternoon in the escort of officers and by the time the charge report and FFI... fit for instructions to serve his jail term is done... its veri veri veri late le.... but luckily... i need not go... haha... sad case... i don even wan to associate with that place..its a hell place without pride...

sundae guard duty is the best duty ever....super super slack n i can study my advance theory this thurs... the duty officer called me and sae.... eh xu... write the parade timing at 2200 and turn out at 0200... i will sign tmr morning...whahahaaha....

this thurs is my advance theory test... hope i pass this time... don no how mani times i said that... ahah... this is my 3rd attempt... hope i can pass....this is my wish...... wish mi luck...

i can sensed tough days ahead..... the shortage of manpower in camp is getting more and more serious... more and more manpower is needed for guard duties... other external units are moving out and it jus left us... storemen and out of course personnel for guard duties.... total strength onli the most less than 30 or less...... to cover 210 guard duties..... shag....

this week is a super tough week.....4 guard duties in 8 days... last sun got 1......tue n wed do continous... n coming sun another 1 more.... feel maybe a blessing perhaps.. cos seem to hav nothin to do at home n always seem to think a lot at home... so why not contribute myself to something more fruitful...like serving n protecting the country? in times of trouble... somebody has to step out n lead... haha

tue n wed is quite hell... so long been i do 2 days in a row duty le.... n the weather is freaking hot n warm... stand out in the sun for long hours make my face red like lobster....haha... n its kinda of frustrating also.... stayed long hours in a restricted place without much freedom to roam abt... lack of sleep too... for the past 58 hours... i onli can slept for 12 hours onli... also cant slp much... its my practice of sleeping a few hours per dae... haha... i'm physically tired but my mind is still running n not tired a bit.....hate this type of feeling... but nvm...i put it into gd use in camp... haha... however my face took the most hit.... pimples are growing everywhere!!! time to heal my face le... look so ugly le.....cant afford to look more like shit....

~Afraid Of~

- Injections
- People tickling me
- Scary movies
- Cockroaches

~DISLIKES~

- My clumsy acts
- Vegatables
- Sci-fic movies
- People who take me for granted
- Latecomers

~LIKES~

- Bowling
- I like to disturb animals
- Ktv
- Joke and disturb people, including parents
- Hello Panda
- Fried chicken/KFC
- Chocolates
- Chocolate Ice-cream
- Coco krunch with milk every morning
- Milo powder
- Cycling
- Watch Fireworks
- Nature
- Roti Prata
- Melted cheese

Jamie
Kelly
Wilson
Jeffery
Hazel
Michelle
Mei Hui
Cindy
Faye
Dawn
Wanting
Xinyi
Huifang
Yanwen
Gary
Xue Mei
Xiao Qian


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