quite surprised that I can still login this blog after 4.5 years. time flies... just wondering how many people still blog nowadays? its something like a thing of the past. my previous thinking is that its a hassle to login and register my thoughts and my feelings at the end of the day?

4.5 years had passed like a breeze. I had changed over the years. I started out like a gong kia with a nus degree. I knew next to nothing in my industry. one of the funniest crap that came out of my mouth is I ask an engineer what is that? and he replied me... zhenrui, that is a formwork. luckily, I had 2 very good mentors who groomed me over 3 years. yes. I did a lot of shit jobs for them and they even acknowledged they always give me the worst tasks or assignments that they got and had nobody to do? maybe is my willpower and determination that impressed them. well, its really a blessing in disguise cos I really learnt a lot from them. by having the knowledge they imparted to me, it really save me the trouble to learn things the hard way though it is the most effective way. the mos memorable day of my life is spending the night doing suntec tender during valentines day.

life goes on and I had changed to a new job in management. this is a long and lonely path I must say. 1st, you cant fool around and joke anymore. 2nd, whatever statement that came out of your mouth is binding and had an impact to my organization, project etc. the most drastic change is I had to be serious, stern and most importantly, ruthless. this is not my usual style that if most of u know. not that I have to put on a show or be lang jia bing, but I have to portray myself as a manager and steady the ship. I cant go back crying to my directors or call them all the time to seek their confirmation and comments right? decisions had to be made quick, fast and good. being a manager also had its disadvantage. I used to go out in big groups for lunch and being the apple of people's eyes. not becos of my looks but its becos of my influence and power though my position is jus a small fry in my ex-company. now, I am alone most of the time and I even had a WTF look when my subordinates sat down in the same table during lunch sometime back.

cant really slp tonight. can really felt my heart had sank. I remember the last time I had this feeling is 10 years ago. I hate such feeling and how my body is reacting to it. I can felt my body temperature had dropped and my hands and feet became very cold. even she can feel it. I cant describe the pain and disappointment I am going through.

we are in amid of preparing our wedding. our house in on the way. we just signed bridal package yesterday. I know she hate planning so I did all the research n planning. we are together for close to 7 years. I started out as an ignorant fool. her family is not as blissful as it seems and totally opposite to mine and I know her mom really fought a lot to keep the family floating. I am totally grateful for that but not that time when we first started out. I remember we were discussing some stuff and I joked on some issues that I had forgotten. but what she replied is still etched in my heart till now. her reply in the most innocent manner is that "I know. but I am also my mom's xiao gong zu ar" this really hurts me. I know she had difficulty with her family but I hope I can made it out to shower her with love. not tat I purposely or intentionally want to do it... but shes worth it. we are alike in a lot of ways, like to watch tv, like to eat, like to watch fireworks, like to slp and she is a good snorer. the only bad point is shes hot tempered and impatient. I still remember our hk trip which she is really blew up is going to the 1818 heritage. its a long walk and she keep insisting that I don't know the way. well... life is not perfect isn't it?

another time I really hurt her is when I told her sometimes I really felt that she is irritating cos she keep msging me when I was the busiest. she is always my priority and whenever she msg me, I would always reply to her at the first instance. think that time I was too busy and she spent the whole night crying.

but that doesn't mean I am a jerk right? I had my proudest moments too! she had a lot of accessories and once or twice, we went out and she wanted to purchase an acrylic accessory box but it is too expensive. it cost nearly $200! I knew that she want it and need it. hence, I made it for her. not the kind of acrylic but the wooden kind. the toughest part is I had to hand screw the slots one by one. the slots are not 10 or 20 or 30 but close to 100? it took me a couple of hours and trust me, my hands are swollen. but its worth it when I saw her eyes brighten up when she got the gift. but.... her filling the box to the brim is a separate issue.

I made her an album during the days I was transiting between my ex job and my current job. I dug out all the photos we took for the past few years and selected the best photos and made it into an album. I even had the thoughts that I can show these photos during the wedding banquet as well. I initially thought that the album I bought off the rack should be adequate but I was totally wrong. there are over 100 photos and I had to squeeze them all in! I even wrote the events that took place on the actual day. not that my memory is good... but I remember all the happy times I spent with you. even the blue ray promoter was impressed yesterday when I immediately gave her the ans when she asked when we go Taiwan? as I flipped through the album before I gave to you, I can really felt that we had really enjoyed ourselves in each other company.

sometimes, I treated you more than I loved myself. I always feed the best food for you even though I really loved to eat. I will felt pissed when u settled for the 2nd best. wat made me pissed with myself is that I did not activated my credit card for overseas spending when we are at korea. you bought a lot of skin care products for your mom and you stood there and hesitated when you are thinking should you purchase a set for yourself. I would bought it for you if I am able to use my card. but I was really helpless.

sometimes..... I really envy you.... cos you got such a good boyfriend. 

but I know you did a lot for me too. I was down with serious food poisoning for 2 days at Phuket and I wasn't responding much or paid much attention to you cos I was really sick and uncomfortable. and you even have to make do with normal food especially you really love those street food. I know you yearned for a proper or a proposal which u can be proud of or unforgettable. had I knew there is a would you marry me teddy bear at the teddy bear museum, I would have brought the ring out. I may have disappoint you for the arrangement in korea not becos of I don't want to do it but I was really nervous, stiff and lost till I even forgot to kneel after I put the ring on for you. but I cant rewind right? I can only joked that I cant kneel becos of my medical condition. and when Adrian came to know of this, he asked me which doc I went to. nice one bro. :)

I told you just now that should I got to know wat you did before we paid the deposit for our house... I would have walked off. yes I would. I have to do that to protect myself... it is not a good feeling to have a sunken heavy heart with cold hands and feet. I felt dead. I just want to recover in the shortest possible time. but... am I able to recover to the position I was in previously? hao ren zhen de hen nan zuo. you said you would compensate the things I paid. I don't need the money not becos I had it nor I had the capability to earn it. but can you compensate the 7 years I had lost? I loved you with my life and I cant reclaim it back. if we are back together, can we live happily ever after? if we are not back together, can we get back to our life? whenever my frens are in rs problem, I would always gave them the most practical ans. seriously, if there is another me who said wat I said to my bros previously, I would knock you out. cold. I am scared. I am afraid. but I need to take a step. and this step is a big decision. a life decision. i really donno if i can forgive you. you always said i am really confident abt myself. i am not confident at all. i am just confident becos i had confidence in you. tats all.

even though its mon, it doesnt stop us from celebrating valentines day! even though dear is real tired but we still meet up for a great nice dinner at aerin's over at raffles city. the steak is real good coupled with thick pepper sauce and not forgetting crispy fries! dear had steam cod fish and its real fresh and together with mash potato, its heavenly! n the best best serving is the desert!

from the pic, u can tell how mani i am.... LOL!!!!


well, jus a caution, dont smile with ur mouth filled with chocolate. anyway, its a deliberate shot. haha... the double chocolate fudge cake is fantastic! this is one of the best cake i ever had! i am not exaggerating but its true. the chocolate is thick, the cake is being heated up and the temperature is jus right... neither too warm nor too cold. i hereby put up a strong case for the recommendation of the yr... haha... our vdae photo...

cny passed in a flash and it took me quite some time to settle down and get over with the cny mood. its days and days of fun and not forgetting the over the night majong where i breakeven. lol... well, its an enjoyable gathering with frens whom i dont get to meet often... over at work, its a blessing to be one of the youngest... cos of ang baos! haha... but... somehow i felt paisei... cos i am 25 this yr... haha...

one of the pics me and dear took during cny... i think its 3rd day of cny?

my first post in 2011 and we are on the brink of cny! wooooooh!!! once again... time to be god of gamblers! my hobby in jan was to collect $2 notes? LOL... well, work is fast n furious as usual but i'm enjoying wat i'm doing right now... i love my job and everything seems cool for me... good colleagues, good n nice bosses... hope i will have a smooth sailing year n bu bu hao shen?!?!?!

had a pre cny with my colleagues this afternoon and it was a great feast! i onli snapped a shot of the 1st dish and i nv take pics of subsequent dishes as i was too busy eating... lol...
speaking of food, i was abt to go shopping for new yr goodies when papa said.... son... dont buy too much new yr goodies hor... later u cannot finish i need to eat all.... when he finished this sentence, me and mom burst into laughter immediately... he is always the one who will start snacking b4 cny and even in the middle of the night when we are slping! and the food jus disappear w/o us knowing.... lol.... some photos from the restaurant at uob plaza 1...

i was quite impressive with mbs hotel room... it was at the correct size... the room size is jus right... neither squeezy nor too spacious. its sort of like give u the cosy feel? and there a couch for u to rest on... and u can read a book with coffee by ur side overlooking the city... its merely a night there and i felt relaxed... overall, its a good experience and i had fun being a local tourist and of cos... with my bros... the only negative thing is.... i can see my workplace from the room... lol...

tmr brings an end to year 2010... time and my pace of life is so fast that when i look back, i cant recall or tell u instantly wat i had accomplished this year... only that i had graduated... lol... well, year 2011... hope i have a smooth career and pay rise! HUAT AR! haha...

i dont knw wats wrong with me but i tripped like 4 times within the hour? started to fear for my safety today as i was tripping into things on site today. well, i came to the conclusion that the best thing tat had ever invented is the safety helmet. even though i worked for like 7 months, my helmet is already seasoned with scratches. sometimes, i bang my head so hard that u can see paint attached onto the scratch marks... ouch....

i cant really stand that stupid creature... when she was overcharged like for instance, hp bills... she will follow up with these issues and keep calling starhub for explanation n watsoever... cos its her money. but when father ask her to call the bank to follow up on the waiver of admin fees, she refused to do it. its jus a simple phone call. best part is... she will usually take down the person's name n particulars cos she wants a point of responsibility. when i asked if she took down the particulars of the operator, she gave cock reasons. hw cock can she be cocked. and when i put down the phone, she immediately asked me wat is the status, who did i talked to. i jus feel like shooting her back... does this matter to u? even if i gave u all these info, wat can u do? she jus wan to find a chance to fuck me and as i am tat loveable, i jus gave her a blunt reply to showcase her stupidity.

sometimes.... i donno wat to describe my life... whether am i tat unlucky + super accident prone? even M&E dept colleagues noticed that i keep banging into things... wats more... i toppled the christmas tree at HQ last fri. and its not a small christmas tree..... more things to add.... i tio bird shit again last mon? i used to label myself as BiRdMaN in IRC ages ago and i think i am certainly one right now.

company issued a jacket to staff yesterday and its an exact size for me... i hesitated to wear it to site, it will be veri warm as i need to wear clothing inside cos if i were to climb here n there, i might chao geng and show my huge tummy? and...... i regret my decision as i got scratched by the stupid rebar again. and ya... it drew my blood again....

i encountered an unhygiene drink stall at the archade banquet food court today. i got craving for bubble tea and i got no choice but to settle for strawberry snow shake at the food court? and ya... it tasted like shit and its now snow shake but ice shake. and the production process definitely put u off. there is something like a small container to mix the drink? and wat happened is... the small container is in this blender which is to be WASHED and this aunite actually used it to "produce" my drink. after she prepared the ingredients and on the machine, the small container which in this blender all along cracked (of cos). then another auntie told her off and said "this blender is supposed to be washed... why u used it?" i am speechless. and ya... i got stomachache after drinking it as i thought it is drinkable after she washed the blender.........

i think i gave my small bosses a good impression. hope i can do well... no matter how accident prone or clumsy i am... or to the extend i am, i am willing to trade it for a smooth career? huat ar!

i thought my workload will be quite ok this week.... as my site manager is on leave... turn out to be... i work till 7pm+ every night... whenever i got this i might this free feeling, i am real busy. wats more, i attended a meeting at bca this morning n its a waste of my time! its like bca is trying to come up something but its not practical. its like they are jus plucking things from the air and it seems to me that they have no substance and lack of industry experience.

gg to work today is quite a killer. cos i have to turn up for work with a bad hangover. and mind u, the meeting at bca was with my pm and small boss... gg dinner with sub con esp china sub con is a real killer. the liquor that they drink..... is hard liquor. no mixer unlike chivas or martell. and its 43% pure. its like drinking washabi and yet it can burn ur throat all the way down to ur stomach. i was trying to limit myself but...... its difficult cos everyone is toasting to u and when its bottom up... its realli bottom up all the way. wish me luck tmr as since we treat the sub con yesterday, their boss is returning the offer tmr....

i cant wait to see wats the effect or impact of 2 selfish pple living together... hes been at my place for so mani days that i cant rem... and best thing is... if he was such a good son or had such good n loving parents... how come they dont call or talk to each other when he is camping at my place for soo mani days? a good point to ponder...

theres always an old saying... dont live with the in-laws or something as it might produce conflicts... but i think its down to individuals' character? i think its totally impossible for both of them were to stay anywhere with anyone... let me give u example...

1) after he switched off the tv, he went into her room and tats it.... he dont even bother to switch off the lights... and i have to drag my ass of my bed to do it for him.

2) when hes eating dinner... he scoop the soup into his bowl and then jus leave the whole pot of soup there... without putting back the fucking lid. so ya lor... pple who eat dinner after him will have to drink cold soup.

3) not to mention, when she came into parents room and jus switched to the channel she want to watch, it caused a major disruption. 1st... papa have to slp in my room. 2nd, me and mom have to head to the living room to resume our show... leaving the both of them there... and ya... why cant they jus watch tv in the living room in the 1st place?

i was jus praying and hoping tat i might stay at his parents place in future. cos i will definitely adapt their baby son's culture so that i will fit into their culture.

~Afraid Of~

- Injections
- People tickling me
- Scary movies
- Cockroaches

~DISLIKES~

- My clumsy acts
- Vegatables
- Sci-fic movies
- People who take me for granted
- Latecomers

~LIKES~

- Bowling
- I like to disturb animals
- Ktv
- Joke and disturb people, including parents
- Hello Panda
- Fried chicken/KFC
- Chocolates
- Chocolate Ice-cream
- Coco krunch with milk every morning
- Milo powder
- Cycling
- Watch Fireworks
- Nature
- Roti Prata
- Melted cheese

Jamie
Kelly
Wilson
Jeffery
Hazel
Michelle
Mei Hui
Cindy
Faye
Dawn
Wanting
Xinyi
Huifang
Yanwen
Gary
Xue Mei
Xiao Qian


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